I am thankful .....

11) Skype Chats
12) Homemade Fudge
13) Little brothers
14) Smell of books
15) Kindness of strangers
16) Childhood memories
17) God voice
18) Wise women
19) Lunar eclipse
20) Planning road trips

Starting

Lord Thank you!!!

So I am starting today, its not monday but my friend Yarnbelle, suggested that I needed to express my love for the one who give me everything from above...

1) The gift of salvation
2) The Word of God
3) Family from all different backgrounds, countries
4) Home cooked meals with unusual flavors
5) Cold Mornings
6) Dogs with silly habits
7) A team that laughs together
8) Friends who are more then sisters
9)  A grandmother that Prays
10)  Life to serve

Cracking And The Breaking

How unusual is it that in somethings cracking and breaking is something to be desired. like vintage jackets, a fashionable bag, old books, all of these things conjure in me attractiveness but I wonder in a person not so attractive or is it?  I imagine that if objects could feel they would consider this process as painful, damaging and hurtful....


I often think that life is a series of moments that often pass us by... as humans we can forget that our Creator uses all that we take as moments for his ultimate purpose.  But what about the pain of life that brings breaking, what about the dryness that comes that also brings cracking.


What happens when this combines into a season in Ones life, do we fold our cards and split or do we stand in the mist of it all and wait. 


"The Lord will fight for you, you need alone to be still"   Exodus 14:14 


Funny, that the cracking and breaking of land is ideal good and used for vineyards that actually when it looks quite distraught there is great richness to the soil. isn't it God who tells us again and again, in His word, In our inner most being that He will use whatever He wants to glorify Himself, that he will use the broken, the weak, the cracking for His kingdom.


I do not have the answers, I don't know where God is leading me in this season,  I hope while this cracking, breaking, dryness in my walk is going on, I have the heart to carry on and live a life pleasing to Him. Towards the One that loves me with a fiery love...

What Do I Do?

I want to be honest, it is a very lonely place doing what I do. its lonely because I forget who I am serving, its lonely because I look at things from people at home and I am not there anymore., It is lonely and the reason why I feel this way its the time of the year. Thanksgiving is coming and Christmas soon after that. I feel this way because for three years I haven't been able to be with my own family, in my own bed with my OWN.....


It seems to be a running theme with me lately. I wonder what shall I do? I can walk around with the woe is me attitude or I can make a choice. I need to make a choice to trust Him even through I have no clue of why or what is going on.....


I went to a conference retreat thing with Pais last week and I was reminded of a word called Kavanah it means the Gods presence and purpose in actions that we have. Its Hebraic, the jewish people strive to allow God in every action, task,  choice we make..... I don't know what happened but it stroke a cord with me. Have I been living a life of no kavanah? the answer was not a pretty one. 


My question is have you been living a life with out thinking of God's presence and purpose?


I think many of us Christ followers live a life that seems pleasing to Him but once again we use our perspective..God is asking me you seek my thoughts, my wisdoms, my knowledge not your own and you will live a true life..






What Do I do? well I keep on trying, I keep on seek Him and along the way I will trip and fail but I should still keep on going, because to not try is to not live a life that my Fahter God died for..

A delicate line for words

Two months notice, two weeks planing, prepping many rewrites and silly drafts and today its here already....


  I refuse to be nervous or get jumbled, I want to do this well. I keep on asking God to help me and I feel quite safe up on stage but in the back of my mind is I want this to be perfect. It my share stubbornness and totally God's grace that is pushing my anxiety down and away from me. 


This was my first official day that I preached/taught  today, my topic the Romans road week 9 on Romans 12.


The verse's I to camp on were simple:
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ²Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."


After so many thoughts it was simple, I was not in control. I tried but it was ultimately Gods project not my own. 


No one tells you that God words are delicate or that using them to teach a person can be so overwhelming. I thought it was simple people would base the sermon on a topic or on a series, maybe unpack a Bible chapter but I never thought that it would be a delicate line of words from page to mind, to heart to page and then spoken. 


....I shared my testimony about how God renewed my mind, how he transformed me and instead of trying to fit into the world's small agenda, I was part of God's ultimate Plan.  I had all these great words, analogies but that wasn't what was used. No it was God's powerful delicate line of words that came forth and i hope pierce the heart of this young flock of lambs. Not me and my pretty empty words or my life story, No, nope it was How God changed me, remolded me, renewed me that did. It was the fact that this word of God that we often down play and cut up into baby pieces for our young people, this word that we forget is so simple, complex, delicate, hard and strong but active that is what did it, tonight. I am in awe that my God, our God can do that, to me while am teaching others about His words, he was teaching me once again....


I didn't feel overjoyed, I didn't feel sad I felt, just so still and in that I place, it was just fine. I can't tell you if I enjoyed it or if I was an amazing speak but am glad I did it, I am glad my students were able to unpack and discuss the word together and I am glad I took the challenge even through at times I was afraid.


A delicate line for words is just as strong and powerful then anything, we ever knew and although I taught tonight, I learnt something that Gods word is more then ink on paper, its more then my past experience with His words, its current, ever present ready to reveal more of His kinds, character essence and nature. What's truly amazing is its even more so the second time you rediscover it.

Another story of God Moving with our students..

I always try and bring students into my life, even when for some reason they may feel overwhelmed or think it totally random. So this is just a little insight to what happened when I invite a student to come along with me to a community gathering.


my week was totally crazy but I thought I need to make a big effort in attending study. So I attend on a bi-weekly basis to this particular  community group that studies the word together every week and quite a few of our students go to this group, to hang out and to hear what God is saying...

I thought while I was hanging with my student in the afternoon, that she could come with me and  what an evening, first of she was on her phone and although I was going to tell her not to God said 'wait' and  then when we started to look at the bible I decided to share my bible with her.  She looked at me in shock and said I can't read the bible and I was double shocked, God said "you needed help once too, be gentle".... you this particular student had been baptized the week before and a month before that had made a commitment to the Lord at the Sliver Ring Thing (purety commitment for saving herself for marriage), you see it was the fact that this student did all these things that shocked me but in that moment it was clear this student was leaning forward to God but she had no one leading her closer in heart and deed, it was just the deed....It was a shock but a encouragement, as God confirmed the reason why I do what I do but also why I was in San Antonio for students like this bright lovely girl. 

Later on: 

A lady that the host of the study knew stepped forward in desperate need for prayer. This woman was asking God for help and wanted to figure out how she could forgive herself, she felt like she could never be forgiven or loved by Him, once the prayer was over I looked over at my student who God lead me to invite and I could tell she was moved but something had changed. You see the faith she was doing all these christ like acts for was now become very really.

The night was wrapping up and my student heading for the door, I wanted to speak to her before she left and the conversations was great, I challenged her to not let this night pass by and if she wanted to be serious about the word we could get together and figure the Word of God out. She was very ready to take the next step...

Thank you God, That I have no clue what works you have in store for us, that you can take a simple invitation to open the doors to someone heart. Bless my student, help me to lead her and may all of take the chance again and again to invite people into your kingdom whether its inviting someone to bible study or buying someone a soda...helps Lord to do that and more.

More then I Could Have Asked For

Yesterday I woke up at 6 am to get ready and meet with some of my student before school for some lovely Mexican style breakfast. it so happened that this very day, all my boss from Pais the ministry, I work with... were coming for a visit, I knew this day was going to be quite an eventful at least at breakfast any way.

 Note to self: Why do we forget that God desire so much to be part of everything we do, I forget this clear truth more then I would like even through I work on the mission field and on another random insight of my mind thought:

I wonder if the people in the bible knew that the days that seemed a little be less then ordinary were actually going to be woven into this amazing God story.

We had ten students show up and it was great to see church kids, none church kids mix and chat laugh and relax with one another and as I looked across the table of the many young face that we so desperately want to show the kingdom to...it hit me , we are sharing the kingdom right now, with love, joy and fellowship and I knew that God was with us in that moment with out kids before school on this warm San Antonio morning.

The day continued back at the church and it was great seeing our boss hear our morning devotional and once it ended, we had our assessment and it wasn't what I thought it would be it was a word of encouragement. We as the Judson team have not been able to get into the Judson High school due to complications of the school district and tho we have tried to get the wheels turning it hasn't worked for us. As they left, we prayed together, within that pray was just a plea to God to let us in....

We decided with our youth pastor to go to the school that very day to see if we could somehow make an effort to at least get on the volunteer list of the school. I went with our youth pastor  but could not go in due to the lack of id and so while I waited for a while and prayed, my team decided to also leave the office and pray on site while our youth pastor was in the school. I really felt God wanted me to press into  prayer while the meeting was going on and after two hours of waiting,  he came out. We went to meet the team and he told us this...

" Next week monday we will be having a private orientation on the campus that will help us become volunteers at the school" not only that but the head councillor was so excited to have people who would be able to  help serve the school that she told our youth pastor Taylor that we could help tutoring, lunch and after school clubs....

It was more then I could ever ask for or pray for, it was totally God ordained and I was just speechless. I had been sick for weeks and just a little low, hopeful but still low in my body and mind and God is like the time is now.

I am so in awe of how God works and I am so thankful that we His children get to see this everyday. How crazy is that He has chosen us to know him and that he invited us to share in his amazing God woven story.

I am reminded that he desire us to take this invitation and run with it and I love that its never to later to do so, never to late at all to join His story

Scared To Be Broken

I had devotional with my team like I usually do every morning, I had felt quite ill the night before and to be honest I don't think I tried hard enough thorough the sneezing and coughing to study Mark 8 the way I usually do.  To be clear I was frustrated, I had used my usually source but nothing. Through it all I was asking God to help me.  Well we had an amazing discussion about Mark 8 but through this I discovered a verse God had point out to me a few months back. 


This totally spoke to me through the group study 


'Do not be afraid little flock, for your father has been pleased to give you the kingdom' 
We spoke about brokenness and it was hard to hear, because one of my team member asked me, why are you scared to be broken and I said it, clear but still not believing it from my month to be broken is to be uncontrolled and unaware of the out come, I am scared I told her...


you see while we were studying Mark 8 it speaks about yeast, that is a fungi that infects and multiplies but the thing is can come within us in disguise like strength and through our worship today I broke down before the Lord. 


My friend sung a song she had written which was so true to my heart : "I have been saying for a while more of me God less or you' 
I didn't want to worship 
"I have been saying more of me less of you God"
 I started crying, 
"More of me God less of you" I BROKE, 
I am sorry, lord I am sorry I stood there not know what to do 
I cried and cried and when I thought there was nothing left, I cried more.....more because my heart was cold and hard and cried for thinking like I knew best and cried just because I was undone by Him and His goodness and persistent love. 


I don't have the answer but I know God wants us broken before Him, broken from all the things we have placed upon ourselves and so much more...... even through our rebillion, hardness God say this to us and lead us no matter what:


Hosea 11:4 I led them with cords of human kindness and I tied them with love, I lifted the yoke from there neck and bent down to feed them 


I don't know what happened or how it did. maybe it unconfessed sin, divided heart or just classic fear but it happened.  The idea that brokenness equities itself with weakness, crept into my heart at very young age and has come and gone for quite sometime. Its made itself at home in my heart, it happens when I don't listen or when I doubt what God has claimed to be true or when I fear that I may make a fool of myself.  That just to name a few. I am  being honest its hard being who we are not because God makes it hard but we make it hard for ourselves, to obey and submit our lives to him in every moment we have.....


 I will always have to learn that Brokenness does not lend itself to weakness but a unique and promising strength that comes from the father that has created us. This incredible strength contradicts, breaks and extinguish all kinds of man made wisdom and logic.  It is a beauty that many do not chase after but one that is bestowed upon the person,  it at its best is God beauty and glory refined in a unworthy vessel.

Psalm 51: 17 the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; 
       a broken and contrite heart.....
      .
I am not scared of brokenness now , I hope that I look for weakness in me, I hope where I need to be broken will be broken by our Father , I am so glad for this promise in 2  that reminds me :


But He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 


I know that this is not over but I hope that the next time I fear to break, I will be overcome by His glory and strength.

A Sport Game+my testimony= revelation and Great conversation

I am not sure how it got to this.  does that ever cross your mind. I mean going to sports games and hanging with student is one of the many facets of our ministry and sometimes this for my personality type can often make me feel awkward but I have grown to love this more and more, instead of destaining it , my first year was surely filled with those feelings.  Although this happens every once in a while the reason I love it so , is that I can clearly see that God was in charge of the conversation. I had prayed this week for those I had met and would meet at the game tonight.

God heard me and when I arrived a few students I was meant to meet bailed last minute, so I was left to mingle with student that may have seen me as weird but that was not the case, I met some new students, which was great because it was all very natural. I was also able to speak to a girl I met the week before, needless to say while watching half time entertainment. I just asked her about her week and a crazy relationship dilemma she had mentioned last week and if it was resolved or not. BANG.....
through conversation,  this girl had just opened up so much,   she had come to a conclusion from a small silly chat we had the week before on the bleachers . God did that, God used the awkward moments....

How crazy is that? I mean, I didn't know what God was going to do, I mean from a surface point of view it was boyfriend trouble but it was so much more and then even I could have guessed. We moved into my testimony and why I joined Pais and she just poured her heart and confusion out, God gave me that willingness and a understanding ear.

It maybe just going to a game but man, the things God can do, is beyond an limit I could imagine.


My prayer is that I have more divine appointments, like tonight, that I would be able to shed His light on place in students heart that He wants to enter.

I am reminded of Zechariah 4: 6 Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty

God is just so amazing.

Preaching

I am starting to realize how much God is a teacher and how he loves his children to be leaners as well as doers of the word.

We are set a task by our Hub Leader to Preach on a topic for five minutes, we are meant to do two things proclaim the word Kerusso and Unpack the word Didasko.  I have had a lot to say, since I could speak many would call me opinionated and I would agree but preaching is such a new element of God to me, we have to be close with God, enough to hear what he wants us to say to His People.

In the mist of this, I hear God again tell me this is what I have made you to do at this appointed time to understand my truth to chase after it, live confidently in it and proclaim this to my children and as you do that , you will see more of me, then you could have imagined. How amazing is that God calls us to Himself so that He may use us to be his portals of Grace, Mercy, Glory...this was just a mere training exercise but the more I prep and get ready for my turn in preaching, I see that this is another mountain,  I must learn to master for the mission field I am in.

I wonder How many more things has God in store for us to learn, and then teach others.  Is it not a great adventure, that we should all take a part in?

Just another thought, thats all...

Another Door Opens

Hi Lovely People

This week, has been amazing, after training with my team for three weeks, we jumped into the swing of things it was awesome.  My team consist of Jessica from California , Jonathan from England and Kevin from the state of Main.  We have been setting up our office, studying the word of God and getting in contact with students. Though out the week we have been praying for the school we want to focus our energy, through out the year the school is Judson. This week we had no strong leads but were waiting for out volunteer forms to be processed. Many different connections we were able to meet with the football coach (second most influential person in the school, I was told) and he was so very passionate about us helping his football team but also the student body as a whole. We were invited to observer the FCA (Fellowship Of Christian Athletes), he also wants us to lead FCA and also the team Devotional a couple of times through out the year.  

How Amazing Is That!!!

Coach Rackley also gave us free tickets to out first game at the school.  The game happened yesterday Friday 3rd September. It was crazy how serious the people of the town Converse (Judson area)  take High School Football, it is a serious business.  I most confess I was completely out of my comfort zone and it took me a quite a while to adjust but  that is why I love what I do, because I truly can't do it without  God in His guiding and also the gifts His given me in loving people. I got to speak to some of the students and get a few of them to explain the game, which was great. What was good was talking to them about life getting to know them, interacting with them, so my hope is that I get to meet way more students and that God will give me the right words to say and the right people to sit with.  It was a crazy experience but I totally see this as an area of our Ministry that can really reach students. 

I was so very proud of my team they were interacting with students and getting into the game and all the while I could see just the love they have for students. 

The question I am asking now is what else can we do to invite students with us to games and ultimately become more relational with them? its a new start and things are still getting processed but I know we can still do more to interact with them. 

Praise: 

We have an opening in our school with Coach Rackley, who wants us to get more involved with his team and the school 

Prayer:

More connection with Judson Students and Another great door and advocate in Judson for our team.  

May the Lord of all things bless you, in doing his will in all that you do,  dear friends, showing his kingdom as one that all can enter, once we accept him who loved us first and died for our sins. 

Once My Story

Dear Friends

I have been a Missionary for two years and going onto my third. Through this time I haven't shared my story they way I should.  Here it is.

I don't know when or how but I am here giving all that I have so that I can see my fathers Kingdom come alive in students that the gospel may not have reached yet. Could I be the answer no I think, I know Whom holds it all.... who saw it fit to use my brokenness to be the door of his healing powerful love.

 I am a missionary, I can not tell you when that desire to serve my Father with my life occurred but it did, I know of plenty of people who live there life serving Our Father  in my home town, I know of them who live there lives out for the kingdom at the office places, the communities, at the university but God has called me to the states.

Its funny cause so many people ask me why and I say this is where God has called me and I totally believe that He has a heart for this country to impact the youth so they in-turn make such a great impact for the Kingdom.

I am a Missionary but I do not do this alone, I have done this for two years and I still have to realize How much  God has changed My story to Your Story and Our Story... I realize more and more to impact the Kingdom, I need a community of people that I invite into my journey, a place where I can update and be transparent with. I am a Missionary but I am not perfect. I am a Missionary but I can not do this on my own, I have and its been back breaking, I am a Missionary asking you to come on a mission with me, would you?

This was Once my story, now am asking would it be Ours...

Peace and Grace

Adrienne


P.S:

If you read this please pass it on, when you read this would you please pray for me , my team and My needs...
this would help me , as I need such prayer and encouragement, leave a comment and if you would leave prayer request it would make my day.

thank you so much for coming along with me and impacting the Kingdom.